Billy Graham once reportedly joked, “Prayer never seems to work for me on the golf course. I think it’s because I’m a terrible putter.”
It’s a great line because most of us have been there. You may not be a golfer, but I bet you’ve been frustrated a time or two (or more) in your life. We pray for the traffic light to change, a parking space to open up, the doctor to be on time, the appointment to go well, the difficult person to finally see things our way. And when things don’t go according to plan, as they often don’t, frustration sets in.
In our frustration, many of us turn to prayer, only to realize that it’s not working. Perhaps there’s something deeper going on when frustration enters our prayers.
It doesn’t affect God’s ability to hear us. God isn’t frustrated. God hasn’t changed. It affects us. To badly paraphrase Shakespeare: “The fault is not in the stars (or in God), but in ourselves.”
God isn’t distracted because we’re frustrated. God doesn’t stop listening because we’re impatient. Scripture reminds us that God knows what we need even before we ask.
But frustration changes our perspective and impacts our willingness to listen.
When we’re frustrated, our prayers become less of a conversation and more of a complaint. We tell God what needs to happen—and preferably when it needs to happen. We become so focused on the outcome we want that we miss what God might be trying to tell us. The putt isn’t important. You need the walk, so park further away. A red light allows you to take a breath and slow down.
The problem really comes when frustration doesn’t just make us impatient with our circumstances but makes us impatient with God.
God, I’ve prayed about this. Why hasn’t anything changed? God, don’t you see what’s happening? God, how many times do I have to ask?
Those are honest, and even beautiful, prayers. And God can handle them.
The Psalms are filled with people who were frustrated, angry, confused, and disappointed … and they brought all of it to God. They didn’t hold anything back and, most of all, they didn’t stop praying. The goal isn’t to pretend we’re not frustrated. But maybe, before we pray, think about what we’re praying for and why we’re praying. If it’s over a putt on the golf course, just putt the ball and let it go. If it’s something deeper giving rise to frustration, then bring it to God and invite the divine presence into that space.
There is a subtle but important difference.
Frustration says, God, fix this. Prayer says, God, I’m frustrated. Help me see this through your eyes. Frustration says, This isn’t going the way I want. Prayer says, Lord, I don’t understand what you’re doing, but help me trust you. Frustration says, I need an answer. Prayer says, I need you, and I know that answers will come.
Maybe that’s part of what prayer is meant to do. Not simply to change our circumstances, but to slow us down. Not simply to make the frustration disappear, but to give us perspective.
If you need this kind of prayer today, you might pray: Lord, I’m frustrated. Some of the things I’m frustrated by are so simple, they seem foolish even to me. But there are also deeper things frustrating me today. You know what they are, and I know you hear me. Help me to become quiet enough to hear you. Help me release what I can’t control. Help me trust you with what I can’t change. And help me remember that even when nothing around me changes, you are in control. Amen.
Sometimes the greatest answer to prayer isn’t getting the ball closer to the hole. Sometimes it’s discovering that God is still with us when the ball doesn’t go where we wanted it to go. As often happens with golf balls … and life.
Have a blessed day.
