I came across this thought recently: “If you absolutely must have the last word, how about making it ‘Sorry’?”
Not bad.
In fact, I imagine we could come up with a few other pretty good “last” words. I love you. You matter. You are a wonderful person. Thank you. I forgive you. Have a blessed day.
Of course, that last one only counts if we actually mean it. “Have a blessed day” delivered in “that” tone of voice and accompanied by an eye roll probably doesn’t qualify.
We, at least most of us, have an interesting relationship with the last word. We want it. We sometimes feel like we need it. We can spend an astonishing amount of time and energy crafting the perfect response, coming up with the clever comeback, correcting the record, or making sure the other person knows that we’re right (and, of course, leaving the implication that they’re wrong).
And perhaps that’s the problem. Because sometimes getting the last word matters more to us than getting the relationship right.
The Bible has plenty to say about our words, which is probably proof that wanting the last word or getting in a perfect zinger isn’t unique to us today. It’s ingrained in us, part of the human DNA. Proverbs says that “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). James tells us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). And Paul encourages the church to let our conversations be “full of grace” (Colossians 4:6).
Notice that none of those verses encourages us to make sure we win the argument.
They point us toward something better.
What if the last word in an argument isn’t the word that proves our point? What if it’s the word that preserves the relationship?
Maybe sometimes the best last word really is “Sorry.” Sometimes it’s “I love you,” or any of the other examples. Sometimes it’s simply “Let’s talk about this later.”
And sometimes, perhaps the most spiritual last word of all is no word at all. There’s wisdom in knowing when to stop talking.
Jesus reminds us that our words matter because they reveal what’s in our hearts. We all know that words can wound or heal, divide or reconcile, inflame or calm. But we forget. Or get angry, frustrated, or defensive. The truth is, we don’t get to choose what someone else says to us, but we always get to choose what we say next.
So today, before insisting on having the last word, maybe we should pause and ask: What kind of last word do I want to leave behind? As the Bible suggests, why not think on these things? Grace. Peace. Love. Encouragement. Hope. A blessing.
We may not always get the last word. But when we do, let’s make it count.
And if we “absolutely” must have it? “Sorry” can be a pretty good place to start.
Prayer: God, guard my mouth and shape my heart. When I’m tempted to prove my point or win the argument, help me remember that relationships are more important. Give me the humility to say “I’m sorry,” the courage to say “I forgive you,” and the generosity to say “I love you” when those are the words that need to be heard. Help my words bring grace, healing, encouragement, and peace. And when silence is the better choice, give me the wisdom to let silence have the last word. May the words I speak today reflect the love of Christ. Amen.
