Last night was one of those nights. We’ve all had them. You go to bed, expecting that the night will be no different from any other. And then you spend hours staring at a clock that keeps glowing back at you, almost taunting you. I went upstairs around 10:30 pm and didn’t think sleep would be a problem. A little after 3 am, I finally drifted off. By 6:30, I was awake again. No reason; it just happened. That got me thinking about a story in the Bible from Genesis 22:
“Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he couldn’t get the best of Jacob as they wrestled … The man said, “Let me go; it’s daybreak.” Jacob said, “I’m not letting you go ’til you bless me.” The man said, “What’s your name?” He answered, “Jacob.” The man said, “Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it’s Israel (God-Wrestler)” … And then, [God] blessed him.” (Genesis 22:24-30; The Message).
Jacob, during a long, sleepless night, wrestled with a mysterious “man.” Jacob didn’t win, but he stubbornly held on. When morning finally came, Jacob, apparently sensing the man was not a man at all, demanded a blessing. The “man” (now known to be God) changed Jacob’s name to Israel, which means “he struggled with God and overcame.”
I didn’t wrestle with God last night, literally or figuratively. I tossed. I turned. I stared at the clock. I stared at the ceiling. I got up and walked around. I listened to music. I listened to the quiet.
Unlike my night, Jacob’s sleepless night isn’t so quiet. He’s alone, carrying the weight of his past, the fear of his future, and the consequences of old choices. Somewhere between sunset and sunrise, God shows up, and Jacob’s restless night turns into a wrestling match.
What strikes me is Jacob’s persistence. When morning comes, Jacob is still just holding on for dear life. But something in him refuses to let go. “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
That is faith that refuses to disengage.
Sometimes our sleepless nights have no reason. Sometimes our sleepless nights are driven by worry, fear, pain, or even excitement. But I suspect that engagement with God is seldom the cause.
Perhaps this story invites us to ask: What would it look like to be more persistent in our faith?
Not persistent in pretending everything is fine, but persistent enough to bring our fears, regrets, and unanswered questions into God’s presence … and refuse to let go.
Persistent enough to hold on and demand answers in our prayers.
Persistent enough to ask questions when silence would be easier.
Persistent enough to demand a blessing, believing that blessing sometimes comes through struggle, not by avoiding it.
Faith isn’t passive. It clings. It struggles. It stubbornly stays the course. Perhaps our takeaway for today from Jacob’s story is a reminder – when it comes to faith – to struggle more and settle less.
Prayer: God, when I’m tired, restless, and unsure, give me the courage to stay engaged with you. Teach me to hold on—not for easy answers, but for your blessing and your presence. Amen.
