This morning, I’m quietly throwing an adult temper tantrum. That may be a bit extreme, but I decided to add a second day with a personal trainer, and I decided it would be better to do it first thing in the morning, and I decided this would be a good day to start … so, today is the day. Notice the number of “I’s” in those sentences. Nobody forced me to do this; I made the decision. But now, looking outside, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to. There’s your adult temper tantrum shining through.
I’m sure you’ve never experienced this …
We all have. The alarm goes off, our bodies and our minds protest, and our spirits fold their arms and say, Nope. Not today. Except we know we should. Someone else is waiting on us. Or, deep down, we know it’s good for us.
What’s uncomfortable is how easily that same resistance shows up in my faith. Prayer. Worship. Serving others.
I believe in all of it. I want to want it. But there are days when my soul throws an adult temper tantrum—quiet, polite, internal, but real all the same. No screaming on the floor, just an “I don’t feel like it.”
We even attach labels to our feelings in an attempt to justify them to ourselves or others. We’re busy, we’re tired, or it’s the time of year. Sometimes that’s the truth, and we need to rest and reset. But more often it’s simply the cost of faith pressing against our desire for comfort. The acts of faith are rarely glamorous. Like exercise at the gym, they don’t always feel good in the moment. They shape us over time, not instantly.
John Wesley knew this tension well. He wrote extensively about prayer. He believed, “God does nothing but by prayer, and everything with it.” He defined prayer as the breath of our spiritual life. He is even reported as saying that he thought very little of someone who didn’t pray four hours every day!
I’m no Wesley. But there’s a lesson here. Wesley didn’t wait for his feelings to catch up with his faith. He trusted that obedience could lead where motivation would not.
The Apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 6:9: “Let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up.”
That’s not the only time Paul warns us about getting tired and giving up. Perhaps he had his temper tantrum days as well, and, if so, that gives me comfort. Faith often looks like kneeling when we’d rather watch TV, serving when we’d rather rest, and worshiping when our hearts feel flat.
God isn’t surprised or offended by our reluctance. But the amazing thing is, God promises to meet us in the doing.
Sometimes, the most honest prayer, worship, or service we can offer is simply this: “I don’t want to be here—but I’m here.” And, if we listen closely, we can hear God whisper: “I’m here, too.”
Prayer: God, you know how easily I resist the practices that shape me. When prayer feels heavy, when worship feels inconvenient, and when serving others feels costly, meet me in my small acts of obedience. Teach me to trust that showing up matters. Form me through faithfulness, not feelings. Amen.
